Today’s Challenge: Face the problem so you don’t add to it.
I went to lunch with a friend yesterday and I shared with her that I had been struggling with a couple of businesses that had let me down. I also let her know that I was now in a much better place because I had finally faced my problems.
I didn’t want the trouble and heartache of confrontation, so I continued to believe that I could ignore the problems, or send very nice emails once a month confronting the issues and the problems would simply be resolved. By taking this approach, my troubles grew, my stress grew, and before long I had nothing but sleepless nights. I now know that if I’m not sleeping at night, I’ve waited much too long to face the problem. Aren’t our bodies amazing? My body was telling me, “Confronting the issue is long overdue. It’s time!” When both businesses started to ignore me in hopes I’d go away (my same strategy), I took the next step and went to Better Business Bureau. The first business took action and we resolved the problem quickly and painlessly. Amazing! AMAZING! The second business (A book distributor who has not only continued to list my books and my name on their website, they have continued to sell my eBooks without paying me–two years after our contract ended) used the strategy of ignoring me and BBB, so now the Attorney General in that state is taking a look.
I spent so much time feeling upset and frustrated by these businesses. I was the one having sleepless nights, not them. And I didn’t do anything wrong (other than waiting, hoping, instead of taking action sooner). It’s ironic. But now, I’m sleeping fine and I will stay on top of this until we have a resolution. The sleepless nights should be on them, not me.
I have to repeat the daily challenge, face the problem so you don’t add to it, and sometimes waiting and hoping and ignoring is adding to the problem. Learn from my mistake… 🙂
Years ago, I created the app “I’m Upset!” The last part of this app, the “Quick Check In” says this:
Ask yourself these question:
- Am I upset?
- Why am I upset?
- What can I do about it?
- Is it out of my control?
- Is it really important?
- Should I let it go or do I need to confront the issue?
- Why am I feeling so powerless?
- How can I take responsibility for this, so I can get my power back?
Clearly, I needed to take my own advice instead of dragging my feet… But at least I’m facing it now and it feels great to take my power back! 🙂